Letting go of my fear.
During my first year in college I over-studied, which is funny to hear because it is more common to catch “I didn't study enough my freshman year.” Last year if you wanted to find me all you had to do was visit Evans Library. My worst fear in life is failing. I was terrified that if I joined an organization that it would be too time consuming and I would not be able to get the grades I wanted. Another reason why I was so scared of failing was because I did not want to let down my family. In my family I am known as the studious, maybe slightly nerdy one and they were so proud of me because of all my accomplishments. So in a way, I had put pressure on myself to keep being the “golden child.”
As my first semester went, I was becoming burnt out of school. I never gave myself slack and I just constantly studied. Come the following semester I knew I needed to change. I decided to join the Texas A&M Wesley Foundation and the Texas A&M Cupcake Club. Even though I kept on studying around the clock, I did start easing to the idea of taking more breaks. What finally made me realize that I needed to take a step back from my study habits was my Grandma. At the end of my spring semester of freshman year, I had earned a 4.0 for the whole year. I did not get the reaction I thought I would when I told my grandmother of my accomplishment. Instead I got a reality check. She told me that she was proud of me however she told me that I should experience college more than what I was already doing. For some reason her words really did hit home. I was not enjoying college the way a young 20 year old should. I was terrified that I was going to look back at my college days and realize the only thing I got out of it was studying and the library’s hours.
During the summer I stayed in College Station and took some classes. I made it a point to keep going to the Wesley Foundation and just have some fun. I had made several new friends during the summer and I often hung out with them and just enjoyed their company. I ended up making all B’s in my classes and it felt similar to ripping a band aid off. I did not expect to make straight A’s in all of my semesters however, I was still scared to make anything lower. Fall semester of 2013 and onward I decided to take more leadership positions at Wesley to help me break from studying. I found out recently that I would be the Fellowship Chair at Wesley for the next school year, 2014-2015. I am very excited about the opportunity of having a leadership position at Wesley. Along with being more involved in an organization I have also experienced things outside of school such as dressing up in all blue to get free Blue Baker, going out dancing with friends, exercising by joining a water aerobics class, attending formal, pond hopping, being in the stands at aggie games, and much more. I really have enjoyed this year and I am thankful that I was able to let myself go and experience college the way I am supposed to.
Written Spring of 2014
As my first semester went, I was becoming burnt out of school. I never gave myself slack and I just constantly studied. Come the following semester I knew I needed to change. I decided to join the Texas A&M Wesley Foundation and the Texas A&M Cupcake Club. Even though I kept on studying around the clock, I did start easing to the idea of taking more breaks. What finally made me realize that I needed to take a step back from my study habits was my Grandma. At the end of my spring semester of freshman year, I had earned a 4.0 for the whole year. I did not get the reaction I thought I would when I told my grandmother of my accomplishment. Instead I got a reality check. She told me that she was proud of me however she told me that I should experience college more than what I was already doing. For some reason her words really did hit home. I was not enjoying college the way a young 20 year old should. I was terrified that I was going to look back at my college days and realize the only thing I got out of it was studying and the library’s hours.
During the summer I stayed in College Station and took some classes. I made it a point to keep going to the Wesley Foundation and just have some fun. I had made several new friends during the summer and I often hung out with them and just enjoyed their company. I ended up making all B’s in my classes and it felt similar to ripping a band aid off. I did not expect to make straight A’s in all of my semesters however, I was still scared to make anything lower. Fall semester of 2013 and onward I decided to take more leadership positions at Wesley to help me break from studying. I found out recently that I would be the Fellowship Chair at Wesley for the next school year, 2014-2015. I am very excited about the opportunity of having a leadership position at Wesley. Along with being more involved in an organization I have also experienced things outside of school such as dressing up in all blue to get free Blue Baker, going out dancing with friends, exercising by joining a water aerobics class, attending formal, pond hopping, being in the stands at aggie games, and much more. I really have enjoyed this year and I am thankful that I was able to let myself go and experience college the way I am supposed to.
Written Spring of 2014